Thursday, March 20, 2008

A Little Less Conversation...

"Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body."

~Elizabeth Stone~


I never realized how removed from the world I am until I get out in it again. Since my husband has been working out of town recently, I spend most of my time taking care of our two young children. Needless to say, adult conversations are far and few between.

But a friend of mine came into town recently; one I hadn't seen in about a year, a year that was filled with some big changes for us both. So when she told me she was at a hotel with her man, I was thrilled! Finally I was going to see her, and hear all about her life, and be introduced to this amazing man she couldn't say enough about.

After putting our oldest child to bed, and getting my husband set up with the youngest, I was finally ready to leave. Of course, that's when I noticed the weather was getting worse, and discovered, after checking the Weather Channel, that the entire area was under tornado watch. Great! But since the hotel was only about 10 minutes away, I was bound and determined to see them, and to get some time to myself! I adore my kids, but I was in desperate need of a few hours without holding one and chasing the other.

By the time I got to the hotel, the rain was just pouring down, the wind was blowing like crazy, and I had to park at the very last parking space in the lot, the furthest from the front door. Determined to hold on to my rarely exercised sense of excitement, I just threw a coat over my head and ran for it. I was a little out of breath when I got into the lobby, which was empty...so I thought. The first thing out of my mouth is a muttered "damn", just under my breath, because it really was some bad weather, I mean, I could hear the waves just pounding the beach behind me, even through the storm sounds. As I turned around to jog up the stairs, I saw the family waiting for me to get out of the doorway so they could leave. And they had not one, or even three kids with them. They had five kids with them, all of them staring at me with round eyes, mouths slightly open. I try a smile for the parents, who seemed totally unresponsive, probably due to a vacation overkill...I mean, five kids? Seriously?!

As I jogged up the stairs, I was thinking about all the things I want to talk to my friend about, mentally rehearsing because I didn't want to forget any important details. For me, this was not just about seeing a girlfriend, this was a full-scale event, and I had to be sure to cram as much into the time I had as I could.

When she opened the door, looking wonderful, and introduced the supposed boyfriend as her husband, we all got settled down to talk, with me looking forward to hearing about the elopement.

About two hours later, my husband called, asking if I could come home because our youngest was fussy. I got my things together to leave, hugging and promising to get together again soon, and I was just glowing from the adult interaction, the first I'd had in two weeks.

I got home and got the baby settled, and my husband asked about my friend. He said,"How's she doing? How is school going for her, is she graduating soon? What else is going on in her life?"

And I sat there and thought about it. And slowly, a feeling of shock took over. Because I had NO IDEA! I hadn't asked her a single thing about her life! I had, in fact, done nothing but talk the entire time! And as I looked back, I realized that for almost the entire time, I had talked about my kids!!

What was wrong with me?! I was so thrilled to see my friend, to get away from my kids for a couple of hours that I...what? Spend the whole time talking about...my kids?!!

After sending her a letter of apology, and receiving one back promising a double date soon, and her full understanding that I was a mommy now, my kids were my life, and it was alright, I had to laugh. I had done what every mommy I know has done, and will continue to do for the rest of my life. My kids really are my life, they are what I fill my day with, what I work for, and what I love. That will never change, so I guess I should just get used to talking about nothing but them for a long time to come!

Or just warn people to hit me after the first hour of "kid-talk".

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