Free Time

It's been awhile since I've written. Sitting here now, looking inward for the reason, I have to admit to a certain...laziness. The act of writing is just so simultaneously theripudic and tiring that I procrastinate. While procrastinating is an art form, and I consider myself a master, I feel a seriously sense of loathing at realizing that I'm once again procrastinating myself into a practical coma. Well, a thought coma at least.
I blame having 2 kids for taking up my spare time, but that's only true to a certain extent. The times when I watch a movie after they're asleep at night, I could put to better use on writing. The naps they take during the day, I could get a little bit in instead of watching a rerun of E.R., since I've already seen them all anyways. It's just so much easier not to. Not to start my crazy brain working, not to get all those crazy intellectual juices boiling around in there. I get tired just thinking about what it does to me.
But when I go back over old writings, I'm amazed at myself. I did that? Little ol' me? And I feel a sense of pride in myself, and accomplishment in my work. Which is a damn good feeling, I'm sure anyone would agree. The fact that I can bring emotion to myself, from my own work, that's how I know it's a piece to save. That that one is one I'll let someone else read.
Wellll......maybe. I'll think about letting someone else read it though. ;)

Anyways, I have actually been busier than usual with the kids. Colin sees his speech therapist one morning a week, and I've actually been trying to keep that scheduled into our day, in the hopes of cutting down on tantrums when she comes. More on that further in. I've been putting some serious effort into my role as "housewife" as well. I know some of you are laughing, and some of you aren't. Those of you who are have never been a housewife/stay-at-home mom. Good for you. The others of you who are not laughing will appreciate the fact that my job is a lot tougher than almost any other job. Period. And that subject will become another blog in the very near future I believe. Back to my time management though. We've been going on longer walks each day, which has pretty much doubled the time it used to take. Which could be because they've turned more in to "exploration" adventures that just "walks". If you want to see the world from a whole new angle, go on a walk outside with a two-year-old. It's fairly amazing all the things I'd pass by without a glance that Colin has to stop and ponder for at least a few minutes. But it's pretty cool to spend an hour doing what would normally take fifteen minutes.
Even aside from the kids, there's the husband. Who is amazing, by the way. If we happen to have the same fifteen minutes of free time, all we want to do is curl up on the couch together and relax until one of the kids attacks us....or each other. Getting time with just the two of us is pretty rare, so we try hard to enjoy it to the fullest.
So in the spare five minutes that leaves me, on occasion, writing is just soooooo tough to do!! Yes, it makes me feel amazing, I'm pleased, blah blah blah. But even as I'm sitting there writing, (like right now), I'm thinking about the other things I could be doing. Or not doing, because just sitting down on the front porch for a moment in solitude is like....awesome. And I mean that in the truest sense of the word, not in the "gnarly brah!" type of way.